Remember...If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

You can go far with a smile but further with a smile and a gun ;o)

2008-05-07T23:09:22Z

My 5 favourite quotes *for today, at least ;o)*

Smile *it won't hurt...I promise ;o)*

"I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo . . . in Morse code..."

Emo Phillips

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records.
What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? "

Paul Merton

"Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

Darrin Weinberg

When told: "Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband I'd poison your tea." He replied: "Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it!"

Sir Winston Churchill

"Those who live by the sword...get shot by those who don't."

Anonymous

credit: http://www.great-quotes.com/

Have you smiled today? :o)

2008-05-05T17:24:33Z

smile [smahyl] verb, smiled, smil·ing, noun –verb (used without object)

1.	to assume a facial expression indicating pleasure, favor, or amusement ~~but sometimes derision or scorn,~~ characterized by an upturning of the corners of the mouth.*

*Like this . . .

And just in case nobody has smiled at you today . . .

Worry about your problems tomorrow (they'll still be there ~~and possibly not as big as that guy's!~~) and remember . . .

So, why worry? Lets start a smile epidemic . . . I'm smiling at you, who are you gonna smile at? :o)

Did I read that right? (If this makes you smile...pass it on and we'll start a smile epidemic ;o)

2008-05-01T21:05:18Z

Shhh...don't tell anyone *else* maybe nobody noticed... ;o)

And I always thought that the *secret* location of the Bat Cave was...well...secret.

Kinda like the whereabouts of . . .

(it's not a photo shop image, see: http://www.britainsfinest.co.uk/attractions/attractions.cfm/searchazref/80001170KELA )

And *fanfare* Thank Goodness for the next sign...

...up until recently only 36% of women could find this...

...possibly resulting in the creation of the next sign...*L*...

...unless, of course, their bloke has seen this billboard...

...although...this ~~piece of rocket science~~ next one ought to stump him...

Which brings us back to...

...though, I suppose, if it was an emergency...

...that would just be, what we in 'the trade' call...tough luck...

If you're a fluffy bunny, though, you'll be o.k *a mile from now...*

Even rabbits have to chill out occasionally...(man)

Make sure you follow the signs...

*decisions...decisions...*

and don't get lost on the way...

...I think they mean the other right...*L*

You may get hungry on the road...

mmm...sounds good enough to...put in your car...

...just...what?

The (newly hired) service may not be all that at Taco Bell...

...but we all know McDonald's isn't healthy...

("Would you like a McHeadstone with that?")

If men are running Heaven, you may see signs like this one...

possibly this one...

...who knows ~~what goes on in men's heads~~ maybe even this one...

But if you don't make it...remember...

Now... .... I'm not kidding... ... ;o)

*Note: can't really credit these pics as they were e-mailed to me, also the icon...I can't remember who I nabbed it from...if you know...let me know (again) so I can credit. Cheers* :o)

Nobody is above the law . . .

2008-04-30T05:01:23Z

No-one is above suspicion . . .

And what ~~fucking pillock~~ genius designed this children's ride?

Unbelievable...nobody from the designer through the manufacturer to the buyer noticed anything ~~bloody creepy~~ slightly dodgy about this? Wow o.O

Why dogs bite people . . . ;o)

2008-04-29T06:14:32Z

Just why does 'man's best friend' occasionally turn on him *or her*?

Here are just a few clues...

(send your answers on an e-post-card to: 'what-the-f*ck?@get-a-grip-people- they're-not-toys-to-play-dressing-up-games -with-it's-not-normal.com' )

Two clips from Supernatural 3x14 (41seconds and 1min15s) plus some info (SPOILER) about Season 4

2008-04-25T23:23:38Z

By following the link you will be directed to a web page with two (obviously SPOILER) clips from Supernatural 3x14.

Also at the very bottom of the web page there is a 'Mitovich Mega Minute' clip with info on Lost and Moonlight plus some info on Supernatural Season 4 quoted from Kripke.

*which proves that fangirls rule*

Only click if you want to be spoiled ;o)

http://www.sfuniverse.com/2008/04/25/supernatural-314-first-look/

p.s I had a great response to my Quick Supernatural Quiz the other day so some more Quick Supernatural quizzes will be posted some time this weekend (1 will be vaguely difficult, the other *hopefully* fiendishly difficult - i.e. 8 out of 10 fiends would find it hard *L*)

p.p.s Fangirls rule *it's official*

A link to a commercial for Supernatural 3x14

2008-04-25T22:17:37Z

It's only 20 seconds long, but there you go...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eluX_AG-QQA

Catherine Tate, David Tennant, "I am what I am (fuck orf)"

2008-04-24T21:34:54Z

I could watch these two clips over and over *and over* again without getting bored of them. For one thing David Tennant *phwoar* and Catherine Tate is just f*cking hilarious *plus when she plays 'Nan' she sounds exactly like my nan* *L* :o)

http://pwt-fan.livejournal.com/tag/nan#pwt_fan20149

Supernatural vid . . . :o)

2008-04-24T20:35:54Z

Thought I'd post this; it was made by zokossi . I don't usually listen to rock music *or is it heavy metal?* but I thought that this tune ('Are you dead yet?' Children of Bodom) went well with the vid. Hope you like it :o)

credit: http://www.dailymotion.com/search/padalecki/video/x4mbgz_the-final-war-hunters-vs-demons-sup_shortfilms

WARNING! No intelligence allowed... :o)

2008-04-24T19:59:50Z

As if a caution that the blade is sharp *on a knife* wasn't bad enough; check out the next line :o)

What do you use to clean your c.ds?

Sh*t, I was just going to spin dry my daughter! Oh, and thank God for the *handy* diagram explaining the door open/closed sitch; I would've been just lost without it *L*

credit : http://stupidwarningssite.com/

At last; a sensible wine glass ;o)

2008-04-24T04:10:12Z

Just the one ~~bottle~~ glass for me, then ;o)

Quick Supernatural Quiz

2008-04-23T06:38:11Z

1. Sam's birthday is

a) May 2nd 1983?
b)March 2nd 1983?
c)December12th 1982?

2. In the episode 'Faith' what does Dean say he is going to do to the fabric softener bear?

a) Kill it
b) Hunt it down
c) Hunt it down and then kill it

3. In 1x02 'Wendigo' the guide who is hired by Hailey is called:

a) Rory
b) Ray
c) Roy

4. There is a phrase inscribed on the colt it is:

a) illegitimus nil carborundum
b) non timebo mala
c) fide et fortitudine

5. Dean's birthday is:

a) April 17th 1979?
b)January 24th 1979?
c) December 30th 1978?

6. Bela is a:

a) Hunter?
b) Demon?
c) Trader?

d) B*tch ;o)

7. 1x05 'Bloody Mary' is set in which state?

a) Texas
b) Ohio
c) California

8. Who has been shot (with the Colt) and survived?

a) Dean
b) Ruby
c) YED

9. True or False: The first couple sacrificed in 'Scarecrow' were Holly and Vic Parker.

10. Which of the following was NOT a way in which Dean died during 3x11 'Mystery Spot'?

a) Electrocution
b) Being crushed by falling grand piano
c) Food poisoning

Too easy? Let me know...
Answer in comments :o)

My favourite car-wash . . . ;o)

2008-04-22T15:59:28Z

Haven't posted for a while, my car needed washing...

I went to the car-wash and I have had to get them to rewash the car 3 times...they kept missing spots...so if you don't hear from me for a few days you know where I am...

At the bloody car-wash again ;o)

OMG WTF?

2008-04-22T04:30:42Z

Woman Becomes Stuck In Toilet Seat After Sitting On It For Two Years
Wednesday March 12, 2008
By Roxana Hegeman The Associated Press

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years - so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness City Kansas Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.

The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

credit: http://community.livejournal.com/mock_the_stupid/3000482.html#cutid1

Cleans without soap and water. Contains (you guessed it...)

2008-04-22T04:16:18Z

Saw this and wanted to share...

:o)

(1st/2nd line and 5th/6th)

picture credit: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/im/towelette.shtml

Can(')t read...can't spell, either :o)

2008-04-21T21:34:35Z

Car defaced, with bad punctuation

Thursday, April 17, 2008

It seems things have moved on from the days of placing a strongly worded note under the windscreen wiper of a poorly parked car.

It is a lesson to us all – just not in terms of punctuation.

Despite her anger that someone had decided to slash her tyres and deface her car, Rachel Ward couldn't help but smile when the vandal missed the apostrophe in 'can't'.

'I thought they had a cheek asking if I can't read when they clearly can't spell,' said the 27-year-old. 'The vandalism was bad enough but then they add insult to injury by forgetting the apostrophe.'

The incident happened when Miss Ward, of Stalybridge, Greater Manchester, hurriedly parked her car so she could catch a train, unaware of a sign warning that cars would be clamped.

She returned to find a poorly punctuated message sprayed in big red letters across the car's bodywork.

After Miss Ward's VW Polo was hit, her friend, Rebecca Smith, had her Ford Focus decorated with an equally inaccurate message when parked at the same spot.

'I don't understand why they didn't just write a note,' said Miss Smith, 27.

The incidents, which happened behind the Ruby Rooms nightclub in Stalybridge, are being investigated by police.

No one from the nightclub was available to comment, or take a punctuation test.

Article credit: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=143432&in_page_id=2

You though YOU were thick skinned?

2008-04-21T21:28:54Z

Drunk man fails to notice knife in back

Friday, April 18, 2008

A man woke up after drinking binge to find a knife in his back.

Yuri Lyalin failed to notice the six-inch (15cm) knife until his wife woke him up, according to Russian media.

Mr Lyalin, 53, an electrician, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept soundly before his spouse noticed it.

He was rushed to hospital but doctors told him no vital organs were damaged.

The drinking pal who plunged the knife into his back after playing a variation on Russian roulette, faces trial.

"Unique and intriguing the case may be, but the accused faces a severe punishment," said Pavel Vorobyov, a deputy prosecutor in the northern city of Vologda.

article credit: http://www.metro.co.uk/news/world/article.html?in_article_id=143592&in_page_id=64

What do you mean 'fancy dress'?

2008-04-21T21:24:22Z

Photo credit: http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_garbage/15273825.html
Text by me :ob

Catty cuteness

2008-04-21T18:58:36Z

These pics are just too f*cking cute . . . :o)

See for yourself . . .

photo credits: Don't know, they were e-mailed to me...

Take a look at this . . . :o)

2008-04-19T23:23:56Z

A picture is worth a thousand words . . .

2008-04-19T04:24:36Z

A women only spot?
Not only 'shito' but new and 'IMPROVED' shito
Just...Why?

Is it me or do the buns look like a figure?
Can I have a sip of your...no, it'd never work
Kockens was bad enough, but to add 'anis' *L*
Look at the illustration...
*___*
Appetizing...
Just...*no*.
An unfortunate text / picture combo No need to brag

Photo credit: http://www.funnydaze.co.uk/funnies/funnyfoods/index.htm

Catherine Tate (Donna from Dr Who) is what she is . . .plus David Tennant and Lauren :o)

2008-04-19T02:32:30Z

She is just a fabulous comedian and comedic actress, all of her characters are completely believable - and totally different from each other. Take a look . . .at these

*does anyone know how to put video clips behind a cut?*

How NOT to impress the laydeez

2008-04-17T23:11:24Z

Watch the guy on the left . . . *smooth move*

This really tickled me when I saw it - hope it makes you smile :o)

Only 8 days to go . . .SQUEE

2008-04-16T20:08:30Z

No....? *sigh* <=0(

I'm going back to bed...

pictures from funnypics.com, text by me :o)

An impurrfect day :o)

2008-04-16T13:04:17Z

First you had trouble getting out of bed...

You had a stiff neck...

You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it...

You felt like you had a hangover and you weren't even drinking last night...

Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out...

You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise...

Your new hat looked better on you at the store...

You keep losing things...

The boss chewed you out at work...

You got caught in the rain at lunchtime...

Then the lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you...

You feel trapped...

Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime...

On top of that you think you're coming down with the flu...
And finally, you're alone in the house at night when you think you hear a noise in the basement...

Most pictures were e-mailed to me, last one from googling 'funny cat' then I added the text :o)